Am I wrong?
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
We have 5 barn cats that hang around our place. Dave hates them...hates all cats. Hates them to the point of animal cruelty. I feel sorry for them. I feed them the occasional leftovers and let them hang out on the deck. I don't buy them catfood or take anything away from our family fiancially to support them. I like having them around. I'm an animal lover. I figure they keep the mice and snakes away which being in the country there are a lot of. I don't let them come inside because they are outdoor cats and have never been litterbox trained. They do hang outside the patio doors waiting to see if they'll get any food. Last night around 1 am Dave got up to get some asprin. He opened the curtains and looked out on the patio and saw 3 of them there and went ballistic. He also noticed I had given them the leftover spagetti we had had 3 days ago. He was majorly pissed that (1) I had fed them and (2) that they were on the patio. He got dressed and filled up pitcher after pitcher of water throwing it at them trying to get them wet so that they would freeze in the below zero temperatures we had last night. He's kicked them before and hit one so hard with a broom handle that the handle broke. I know that I shouldn't feed them...but I end up feeling so sorry for them especially in the winter when it's so hard for them to hunt to find food. Someone tell me that I'm wrong please! I need to hear from someone other than Dave ranting and raving at me.
written by Minet at 10:03 am
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Crossroads
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Had a wonderful spring day here for a change. I was getting so tired of the constant rain and clouds.
Sat out on the deck and looked down over the town...not much of a town actually..if time spun backwards several hundred years it could barely be called a village. All in all though the day and the view were perfect.
I watched the clouds while sitting on the swing and started thinking about how our lives turn out.
Now for those who are younger and just beginning the journey, this isn't a thought that really crosses your mind. These thoughts come mid-way through your life. When your young you look ahead because the road behind is so short, but as you age looking back becomes a habit.
You look for those crossroads, checking to see if you made the right choice. Behind you the road stretchs back so far it's hard to see the beginning. We often in our middle years take a short cut back down "Memory Lane" just to revisit some of the places we have been.
Sometimes on our travels back down that lane we hesitate at those crossroads.
We search the horizon for some clue as to 'what might have been.' As you grow older you'll find you have a lot of 'what might have been's'. Part of the whole mystery of life.
Some people will stop and weep at those crossroads.
Others will laugh and thank the god's above. It's all a matter of choices. We all hope and pray we make the right ones.
Others will laugh and thank the god's above. It's all a matter of choices. We all hope and pray we make the right ones.
I visited a few crossroads this afternoon. A few saddened me. A few I was happy to leave behind.
We all sometimes would like to see what lies down the paths we choose but until we actually take that first step they are as hidden as sunlight beneath the earth.
We all sometimes would like to see what lies down the paths we choose but until we actually take that first step they are as hidden as sunlight beneath the earth.
written by Minet at 11:52 pm
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an update
Monday, May 16, 2005
Seems the natives are getting restless and wanting an update.
Lessee....buying another van selling the old car.
Dave ran over my foot with the car Friday.
Went to a graduation party Saturday.
Still working on potty training Minion.
Haven't slipped any deeper into insanity...not that the voices have told me about anyway.
Minions fave show for this week is Max and Ruby.
My step mother is waiting on the CAT scan results to see whether or not the chemo has helped to diminish the lung cancer.
Spring has NOT sprung here it's still rainy and cold and I'm thinking that this is another one of life's little practical jokes.
My laundry needs folded, I need to reclean the carpet in the livingroom since Minion decided it would be a good idea to empty her orange juice in the middle of the carpet. The lawn needs mowed, I need to burn the trash, and Minion wants me to make brownies. See ain't my life just one exciting thing after the next?
Unlike Tubby who excels at wonderful work performances...NOT! I'm chugging along playing at being the responsible adult.
Lessee....buying another van selling the old car.
Dave ran over my foot with the car Friday.
Went to a graduation party Saturday.
Still working on potty training Minion.
Haven't slipped any deeper into insanity...not that the voices have told me about anyway.
Minions fave show for this week is Max and Ruby.
My step mother is waiting on the CAT scan results to see whether or not the chemo has helped to diminish the lung cancer.
Spring has NOT sprung here it's still rainy and cold and I'm thinking that this is another one of life's little practical jokes.
My laundry needs folded, I need to reclean the carpet in the livingroom since Minion decided it would be a good idea to empty her orange juice in the middle of the carpet. The lawn needs mowed, I need to burn the trash, and Minion wants me to make brownies. See ain't my life just one exciting thing after the next?
Unlike Tubby who excels at wonderful work performances...NOT! I'm chugging along playing at being the responsible adult.
written by Minet at 12:35 pm
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WOW! uncanny! this is sooooo me
Sunday, April 17, 2005
| ISFP - the Composer You scored 45% I to E, 57% N to S, 11% F to T, and 52% J to P! |
| Your type is best described by the single word "composer", which belongs to the larger group, experiencers. You are very in touch with the physical world, and have an eye for detail. You are likely to be very artistic in some form or another. You don't wish to lead at all. Your attitude is very much "live and let live" to the point that others may have accused you of having no opinions or ambitions. You share your personality type with 10% of the population. As a romantic partner, you are nuturing and supportive, often putting your partner's needs before your own. You struggle when you feel anger or resentment, because the last thing you want to do is engage in confrontation. You need patience, support, and encouragement to discuss problems in constructive ways (as opposed to not at all.) You want a deep and intimate connection with your partner. You feel most appreciated when your partner is grateful for your thoughtfulness and willingness to help. You most want your partner to reciprocate with spontaneous thoughtful acts to show you how important you are to them. Your group summary: experiencers (SP) Your Type Summary: ISFP |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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| Link: The LONG Scientific Personality Test written by unpretentious2 on Ok Cupid |
written by Minet at 11:25 pm
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restless
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Well Dave left for work today. Gone until Thursday night. I'm back watching his grandmother, this is the final week, Dave's mother will be home Thursday afternoon. I feel on edge, restless, still a little depressed. Dave seesawed back and forth between being nice and accusing me of sleeping with anyone and everyone. I'm still pissed and have fallen into my quiet mode of speaking to him only when addressed. No apology for his behavior last night nothing. He just acts as though I should accept it and that I was at fault. That however is not going to happen. I did nothing wrong. Deep down I know he's looking to pick a big fight, he's done it before. If things get to stressful or he becomes tired of work he'll pick at something, anything, to justify his blowup, thereby releasing him of accountability in his mind. Jobs, relationships, whatever, he for some reason has to believe in his head that it's not him it's always someone else's fault, thereby justifying his reasons for leaving.
I'm rambling, sorting it all through for myself I know. He called tonight after he got to the motel he stays at. I wasn't happy cheerful or upbeat with him. I simply didn't care nor did I want to hear from him. A part of me was hoping that he'd had time during his trip to think and perhaps see that he'd stepped over the line....apparently not...because only a few seconds into the call did I recieve his little dig of "I'm sure your having fun cybering on line." From there it was downhill. I clammed up more only answering his questions with a "fine,......everything is fine.........jackie is fine." He then decided I was in a bitchy mood (go figure) and not in the mood to talk so he said good night I said good night he said he'll call tomorrow I said okay he said bye I said bye. I know he was waiting for the "I love you baby." but I couldn't bring myself to utter the words. I'm hurt, I'm pissed, and I don't care.
I'm rambling, sorting it all through for myself I know. He called tonight after he got to the motel he stays at. I wasn't happy cheerful or upbeat with him. I simply didn't care nor did I want to hear from him. A part of me was hoping that he'd had time during his trip to think and perhaps see that he'd stepped over the line....apparently not...because only a few seconds into the call did I recieve his little dig of "I'm sure your having fun cybering on line." From there it was downhill. I clammed up more only answering his questions with a "fine,......everything is fine.........jackie is fine." He then decided I was in a bitchy mood (go figure) and not in the mood to talk so he said good night I said good night he said he'll call tomorrow I said okay he said bye I said bye. I know he was waiting for the "I love you baby." but I couldn't bring myself to utter the words. I'm hurt, I'm pissed, and I don't care.
written by Minet at 10:21 pm
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once again
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Well once again Dave is pissed. All because I invited a friend of mine that I know online to play poker online with dave and I. For some reason that set him off. Now he says I should just go and play with my little friend and have my lesbian relationship. Now she is married and I'm with dave so what the hell? After a "fuck you" from him followed by another later I'd had it and said it back. This then resulted in me "apparently not thinking I could be replaced. So I'd better go out and find me someone else to live with or get a job and support myself." I calmly just kept repeating "yes dear" which resulted in him going down to the garage and little or no talking the rest of the night. He's now asleep on the couch.
I have tried so hard to not piss him off. I've broken off contact with all male friends I had online simply because I got tired of being accused of wanting them or even wanting to spend any time at all with them. Apparently now even women friends are off limits online. So now what? I have very few friends in real life since moving up here. And even some of those I have he disapproves of. I am feeling so very isolated and alone.
I have tried so hard to not piss him off. I've broken off contact with all male friends I had online simply because I got tired of being accused of wanting them or even wanting to spend any time at all with them. Apparently now even women friends are off limits online. So now what? I have very few friends in real life since moving up here. And even some of those I have he disapproves of. I am feeling so very isolated and alone.
written by Minet at 11:31 pm
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Acouple of musings
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Just thought I'd update a bit since I've sadly gotten out of the habit of posting regularly.
Dave's mother is going on vacation to Ohio starting today for 3 weeks. 3 of her sons live down there and she's been feeling couped up taking care of her mother. This means that someone has to watch Grandma......and since I'm the only one not working, flexible, gullible, and easily guilted guess who's going to be staying there while she's gone?
3 whole weeks of living with a 95 year old woman who's only love is her money and soap operas.
Now I don't mean to put a harsh light on Dave's grandmother...far from it...the woman has her moments of kindness. She loves Jackie and the two of them can sit and play peekaboo for an hour. Something about old people and kids. I just always had this picture in my head of what a grandmother should be like. Smiling, kind, always wanting to feed you something. My grandmother on my fathers side was like that.....she was one of the sweetest most caring people I have ever met. She'd invite Jehovah Witnesses into the house and offer them something to drink, simply because they stopped by and you simply didn't turn anyone away from your door. If you went to my grandmothers house be prepared to eat, because there was always something in the fridge that would surely go to waste because her and my grandfather couldn't eat it all. When I think about my grandmother I still have this picture in my head of her smiling just so happy that her family had come by for a visit. I miss her dearly.
But anyway a tangle came up just as I was posting this...the temp agency called and wants me to work next week. So now what!? I'm supposed to be watching Dave's grandma but at the same time working for a week or 2 or 3 depending upon how long they need me would really help the family coiffers. Oh lord I just knew something like this was going to happen! Crap crap crap crap!
Dave's mother is going on vacation to Ohio starting today for 3 weeks. 3 of her sons live down there and she's been feeling couped up taking care of her mother. This means that someone has to watch Grandma......and since I'm the only one not working, flexible, gullible, and easily guilted guess who's going to be staying there while she's gone?
3 whole weeks of living with a 95 year old woman who's only love is her money and soap operas.
Now I don't mean to put a harsh light on Dave's grandmother...far from it...the woman has her moments of kindness. She loves Jackie and the two of them can sit and play peekaboo for an hour. Something about old people and kids. I just always had this picture in my head of what a grandmother should be like. Smiling, kind, always wanting to feed you something. My grandmother on my fathers side was like that.....she was one of the sweetest most caring people I have ever met. She'd invite Jehovah Witnesses into the house and offer them something to drink, simply because they stopped by and you simply didn't turn anyone away from your door. If you went to my grandmothers house be prepared to eat, because there was always something in the fridge that would surely go to waste because her and my grandfather couldn't eat it all. When I think about my grandmother I still have this picture in my head of her smiling just so happy that her family had come by for a visit. I miss her dearly.
But anyway a tangle came up just as I was posting this...the temp agency called and wants me to work next week. So now what!? I'm supposed to be watching Dave's grandma but at the same time working for a week or 2 or 3 depending upon how long they need me would really help the family coiffers. Oh lord I just knew something like this was going to happen! Crap crap crap crap!
written by Minet at 10:29 am
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A conversation at my house
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Me: Honey get mommy the dustpan.
lil Minion: okay mommy........here.
Me: Thank you baby.
Me Now can you bring mommy the waste basket.
lil Minion: here mommy.
Me: Thank you sweetie. There the floors all swept up.
lil Minion: I'm so proud of you mommy, your a good girl.
And that my friends is the joy of parenting. :-)
With out those little snippets and smiles in our day we'd kill the little heathens.
lil Minion: okay mommy........here.
Me: Thank you baby.
Me Now can you bring mommy the waste basket.
lil Minion: here mommy.
Me: Thank you sweetie. There the floors all swept up.
lil Minion: I'm so proud of you mommy, your a good girl.
And that my friends is the joy of parenting. :-)
With out those little snippets and smiles in our day we'd kill the little heathens.
written by Minet at 03:16 am
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Have you ever had a dream...
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
That seemed so real? You'd swear that you weren't really dreaming at all that it was really happening.
Have you ever had a dream where the colors were so vivid and intense.... they were so much more than what you see when your awake?
Have you ever had a dream that lingers long after your awake? It tickles the recesses of your mind at odd times reminding you that there is another reality than that in which you currently reside.
Have you ever had a dream from which you didn't want to wake up? You squeeze your eyes tight against the intrusion hoping to slip back into that n'etherworld.
Have you ever wondered just where the line is between the dream world and reality? Would people think you insane if you chose never to wake up but instead live inside your dream world? Perhaps some we call insane have instead opted for that exsistence and if so are they really insane? Or have they simply chosen another way to live? I've been dreaming a lot lately.
Have you ever had a dream where the colors were so vivid and intense.... they were so much more than what you see when your awake?
Have you ever had a dream that lingers long after your awake? It tickles the recesses of your mind at odd times reminding you that there is another reality than that in which you currently reside.
Have you ever had a dream from which you didn't want to wake up? You squeeze your eyes tight against the intrusion hoping to slip back into that n'etherworld.
Have you ever wondered just where the line is between the dream world and reality? Would people think you insane if you chose never to wake up but instead live inside your dream world? Perhaps some we call insane have instead opted for that exsistence and if so are they really insane? Or have they simply chosen another way to live? I've been dreaming a lot lately.
written by Minet at 10:48 am
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If I was a lesbian...
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Shania Twain would be the one woman who would send me over to the other side. In my opinion the video I placed on the left side shows one of the sexiest females around today. I don't know about men....but unless they are blind I'm betting they think the same way.
I think wearing a mans shirt is very sexy and those thigh high boots! Nuff said.
I think wearing a mans shirt is very sexy and those thigh high boots! Nuff said.
written by Minet at 01:44 pm
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